


blueprint {to my stupid sounds}

by lovethevoid



Category: Waterparks (Band)
Genre: M/M, Songfic (Sort of), i dotn know how to tag this, i'm proud of it tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 12:20:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18716968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovethevoid/pseuds/lovethevoid
Summary: awsten writes otto a song on each album. otto's oblivious.





	blueprint {to my stupid sounds}

**Author's Note:**

> ciara doesnt exist in this world sorry sis 🤙
> 
> the timeline is completely inaccurate and also just generally Fucked tbh but that's why it's called FICTION, BABEY

**airplane conversations - 01. silver**  
_my open hand and heart think you belong with me_

Awsten didn't really believe in love at first sight. 

He's freshly 20, freezing his ass off outside some trashy Houston venue at night. His hands are cold but he's holding his fliers tight, offering them to the half-drunk concertgoers walking past. Mostly, he's ignored. 

It's a little grim, sure. He's pretty convinced they'll never find a drummer at this point, because all anyone cares about here is country music, or they only know how to play guitar. He's already got a guitarist (it's himself, and maybe that choker boy he found), and he can play the drums if needed, but doing all of that with Gage on bass seemed a little too difficult. He had _aspirations_ , and he couldn't really do it alone.

He's about ready to give up for the night when he meets Otto Wood for the first time. 

It's brief, the time between Awsten offering the boy a flier and him taking it, mid-step, skimming over it. He glances up, dark eyes unreadable, but he smiles slightly. Awsten thinks he might throw up the sudden butterflies in his stomach as Otto says a quick "thanks, dude", and Awsten makes a vague noise in response as Otto walks away. Okay, add 'gorgeous sweaty boys who just got out of shows' to Awsten's list of types. 

He feels a little paralysed and a lot giggly as he walks back to his car, legs nearly as numb as his hands. He tosses the rest of the papers into his passenger seat before he buckles his seatbelt and starts his car, the engine coughing a few times before settling in. Lukewarm air blasted out of the vents as he drove, picturing nose rings and pretty smiles and curly dark hair under beanies.

Awsten didn't really believe in love at first sight, but second sight seemed reasonable enough.

He wasn't anticipating Pretty Boy to show up to audition, and he _really_ wasn't expecting him to absolutely kill it on the drums. Awsten watches, tries not to appear as stunned as he felt, and Otto just laughs and looks down, lets his hair cover his face at the end. He gets in, because Awsten's pretty certain he never wants to look at anyone other than him again (and the talent, of course. All about the talent...), and Otto gives him a thumbs up and tells him he's excited to be here.

Awsten writes part of Silver that night to cope with his feelings. It did little to ease his constricted heart, but at least he's being productive with it. Otto tells him it's good when Awsten, shaking with nerves, sent it to him. Awsten considers that a win.

 

**black light - 04. new wave**  
_and i’m calling soon, hoping i can get through to you_

****

It's cold out again.

They're on the other side of the year now. It's December, and Awsten finds himself most comfortable with Otto beside him. Otto's not really warm, persay, but he's calm and still and unshakeable, even when Awsten's fidgeting endlessly next to him. It's hard not to, Awsten thinks, when every time he looks at Otto he feels his stomach flip.

Awsten's spent the summer watching Otto's hair grow, down to where it brushes his shoulders. It suited him, Awsten decided one insufferable day in August when Otto's shorts were just a little too short. Actually, that could've been any day that summer - Houston heat was wicked, but Otto got by, and Awsten thanked whatever god would listen for Otto's taste in shorts.

He'd be lying if he said he didn't miss it, at least a little. Otto exists in jeans and beanies nowadays, just like when they met. Nostalgia wrenched Awsten's gut a bit, despite it being a mere 11 months ago. It felt like longer. Really, it felt like he was stuck in an infatuated rut, and Otto's leg is warm against his, and now he can't think. His fingers still, thumbs hovering above the keyboard.

"What ya doing?" Otto asks softly, looking at Awsten but not at his phone screen. Awsten was grateful for that; Otto was a lot of things, but never nosy. He didn't pry when someone was vague, never is interested in drama. Awsten's the opposite, but he's pretty sure the 'opposites attract' rule still runs true. Or maybe he's still trying too hard to convince himself.

Awsten freezes momentarily, staring at Otto with wide eyes. He knows the silence is stretching thin, but if Otto minds, he doesn't show it. Awsten locks his phone and puts it screen-down on the arm of the couch, debating a better way to say _writing a song about you_. They're not ready for that conversation (and maybe they never will be). Awsten shifts, brushes blonde highlights away from his eyes, and settled on a simple "Writing." 

Honestly, the song wasn't even meant to be about Otto. And it's still not - well, not fully. Awsten hated love songs (though they seemed a little more understandable nowadays), and New Wave wasn't one. Sure, he buried some angsty, mushy stuff deep in the notes of his phone, but he couldn't fathom releasing them. Or showing them to Otto.

He wondered how Otto hasn't seen right through him yet.

 **cluster - 04. pink**  
_what do i do? you're one of my favorite few_

Otto is straight.

Awsten's learning to accept this. He can't help the 4-year-long jealousy that twists in his stomach when Otto expresses his interest in a girl to Awsten, because he thinks Awsten is his Fellow Straight Male. He knows jealousy is bad (and maybe he should just dye his hair green now), because that's what he's always been told. He's pretty sure it's one of the seven deadly sins, too, but God's never been on his side anyway.

He also knows he should be happy right now, because Equal Vision decided to give them some money and told them to figure it out, but instead he's sitting on the floor with Geoff and Otto, and he feels like he's rotting away.

Otto talks about girls softly, almost reverently. He'll tell Awsten about how pretty a girl was, describe things like her eyes and her smile, things that girls appreciate boys noticing. Awsten can (and does) appreciate beauty regardless of gender, so he listens and tries to picture the shop clerk Otto got flustered for, and it'd be a lot more pleasant if Awsten's mind stopped wandering to Otto instead every time.

Right now, he's close enough physically that he could hold Otto's hand, but mentally he's far away, watching himself through someone else's eyes. He's stopped paying attention, even though Geoff is speaking and Otto's nodding along wordlessly, but all Awsten can do is wonder. Wonder, wonder, wonder -

"Did you guys know that I'm gay?" He hears himself ask, and watches Otto shift in his peripheral. Geoff sorta laughs, nods his head even though Awsten's nearly certain he's never told anyone before. It's quiet until Geoff says he figured, and Otto concurs softly. It's a little disappointing, honestly, because Awsten thought coming out mght be a bigger deal than this. But _no_ , he'd been enough of a raging gay for the past four years that everyone already _knew_.

He always heard it was sort of like a weight lifting off of you, but if anything, Awsten felt heavier. Now they knew all of his dumb love songs are about boys (despite his best efforts to replace any identity pronouns with "she"), but he hoped they couldn't narrow it down to a certain boy. Speaking of - 

"Thank you." Otto says, tapping his fingers against his own knee. He smiles when Awsten tips his head, silently questioning Otto's words. "For trusting us with that. I appreciate it." He clarifies while dropping eye contact, tucking a piece of hair carefully behind his ear. Awsten's cheeks burn as he smiles back, beginning to accept his fate. Maybe Otto would never get it. Maybe that'd be okay.

Either way, "I love you two" comes easily to Awsten, and Geoff pats Awsten's leg as Otto says it back. Sure, maybe coming out wasn't that big of a deal, but Awsten was grateful that he even had people to come out to, people who wouldn't ostracize him or anything. Things feel a bit lighter, a bit clearer as he lets out a deep breath.

 **double dare - 11. it follows**  
_kiss me like nobody would when i was fifteen_

Awsten's vibrating out of his skin.

Cluster did good enough to land them a spot on Warped 2016, aka every pop punk teen's wet dream. Maybe Awsten was too old to be this excited, and maybe he was too emotional in the first place anyway, because he sobbed when they got the call. Geoff had hugged him tight while Otto rubbed his back gently, all of them somewhere between laughing and crying in disbelief. They sort of ended up collapsing on the living room floor as Jawn laughed at them from the couch.

It was a pretty big step. All of it felt like a rush; from getting signed and writing and recording and releasing to this, June 24th in Dallas, the first date of the cross-country tour. Sure, they were condemned to the shittiest side stages for the majority of the dates, but that suited Awsten just fine. He could die from just thinking of the stadium stages some of the other bands were playing.

It's nearly too much right now, an hour before their very first set. Awsten doesn't think he's ever been more nervous in his life, physically trembling near their bus. He's alone because he wanted to be, speaking to himself, trying to get hyped any way he can. It's too hot - he's sweating already, faded blue hair starting to stick to his forehead. Regardless, he jumps around a bit, anything to relieve the nerves.

"Are you, like, okay?" He hears behind him, whipping around to face an enigma in a heavy beanie and the shortest shorts possible. Awsten's heart comstricts for a fleeting moment, even though he definitely saw Otto earlier, so it's really not a surprise, but still. That's a lot of leg.

"Define 'okay'." Awsten responds as Otto inches closer, a friendly distance away. "Is throwing up in the grass considered 'okay'? Or is that a different territory?" He hasn't thrown up (yet), but it's easier to joke with Otto than just talk to him, because Otto always gives him at least one pity laugh per joke. Awsten appreciates it, even if it's a fabricated reaction.

As expected, Otto chuckles a bit. "Dunno. I don't think I'm qualified to classify anything." He says with a shrug. "I could give you a hug, though. You look like you need one." He offers, and Awsten feels frozen.

 _Don't be a dumbasss_ is all his brain can manage, but Awsten holds his arms out anyway. He knows they've done this before. He knows this is no different. Otto wraps his arms around Awsten, head resting at an awkward shoulder height, and Awsten's arms go wherever they feel right, his cheek pressed against Otto's too-warm hat.

Otto's hugs aren't soft, because Otto isn't soft. They're not comfortable or very warm, but they're Otto's, so Awsten falls in love with them too. Awsten's never been good at knowing a reasonable hug length, but Otto doesn't seem to mind, keeping close to Awsten for a long while. He eventually lifts his head but still holds tight, looking up slightly at Awsten, a soft smile on his lips.

"You're gonna do great today." He says, and Awsten snorts in response, shaking his head. "C'mon, Aws. You always do." Otto insists, giving Awsten a tight squeeze. He grins and steps back afterwards, and Awsten's already missing the physical contact. Otto wasn't historically a touchy person, more often than not nudging both Geoff and Awsten away when they hugged him - Awsten was the opposite, a habitual lover of contact. Holding hands and embraces were his shit. Maybe things with Otto wouldn't work out in the first place, even if Otto wasn't straight.

And yet, Awsten lets himself hope. 

"Whatever. Watch me forget my words and ruin the whole set." Awsten's joking, mostly. A small part of his brain is telling him that's true, but a bigger part has some form of falsified confidence, all wrapped up in one big bundle of nerves. He wonders if that'll ever get easier, performing. It'd been a few years, and sometimes he still felt like that 20 year old with the pitchy voice and the scene hair all over again.

He's grown, they all have. Awsten doesn't allow nostalgia to grip him all that often, but sometimes he can't help it, looking down at Otto. The sun's shining in his face, his dark eyes squinted as he tilts his head up towards Awsten's, still smiling. Otto's always the same. Awsten feels like a shapeshifter in comparison, changing and trying and fitting anywhere he can. It's bad, he's sure, that he's just now finding some sense of security in his own existence, when everyone else seemed to have found it while he was skipping college for his dumb music dream. 

Awsten sighs, lets himself reach out to catch Otto's hand in his own. "We've come so far." He says, and Otto nods, doesn't pull his hand away like Awsten half-expected him to. "Did - did you ever think we would?" 

Otto laughs again, shaking his head, his curls bouncing around his shoulders. "Honestly? No. I thought we'd have to give this shit up after Black Light." He replies, and his voice is soft. "Sometimes, I sorta thought it was a waste of time. But you always seemed so _sure_ , and I wanted to feel it, too." He pauses, shrugs. "You were right. About us being worth a fuck." 

Awsten can't help but smile back. "I guess so. Warped Tour, right? Big deal. I'm excited. I'm scared." He drops eye contact after he says it, glances at the space where their hands meet. "I'm glad you're here." He adds, willing himself to say it above a whisper. Otto doesn't respond, and Awsten is desperate to fill the crushing silence between them. "You - I - yeah. Y'know." He grimaces at his own incompetence, and Otto's quiet laugh is only a tiny bit comforting this time.

"Glad to be here." Otto responds, and he's closer than before when Awsten looks back up to meet his gaze. Awsten barely acknowledges Otto's other hand reaching up to brush blue hair away from his eyes, lower lip caught between his teeth as he attempts to tuck the strands behind Awsten's ear. 

Awsten's heart is racing out of his chest, Otto's palm pausing to rest against Awsten's too-hot cheek. "Would you kiss me if I asked you to?" Awsten ventures, risks, because he really is a dumbass, and apparently he wants to cause unnecessry tension before their first show, and - 

"Is that you asking?" Otto cocks his head to the side, a hint of deviance in his tone. Awsten nods so fast he nearly makes himself dizzy, and he's reeling by the time Otto's lips meet his. It's quick, so fast that Awsten might've dreamt it, but Otto is undeniably real as he laughs loud and buries his face into Awsten's shoulder.

Awsten hesitantly wraps his arms around Otto's small frame. "Oh god, I love you." He says, and Otto's still shaking with flustered laughter against him.

"You're not half-bad, Awsten Knight." Otto says back, voice muffled by Awsten's shirt, and Awsten thinks they'll be okay.

 **entertainment - 05. not warriors**  
_but hey, for what it's worth: i think you saved my life_

He though it'd be easier by now.

After three EPs and one album, Awsten expected words to work with him. They don't, because they never do, but his hair is purple and his head is in his boyfriend's lap, so he's making a few steps. Otto's fingers stroke through the freshly-dyed locks, steady and calming, while Awsten complains loudly about his own work (or lack thereof).

"This sucks." He laments, closing his eyes with a sigh. "I'm so close to being done, and yet? Nothing! No inspiration!" He sits up fast, his head spinning for a moment, his hand resting on Otto's thigh. 

Otto smiles fondly, shaking his head slightly. "You'll figure it out, peach. Always have." He says, slipping his hand beneath's Awsten to intertwine their fingers together. "How do you usually write? Like, is there a method?" He asks, his thumb rubbing absent circles against Awsten's.

Awsten groans, dropping his head against the back of the couch. "No? Not really. I just write on my own time, but EV is down our throats. Y'know how they are." He pauses, debating saying his next words before he does. "Anyway, a lot of them have been about you." He admits, a blush creeping its way up onto his cheeks. He dreads Otto's usual silence, but Otto makes a soft noise of muted surprised instead this time.

" _Me_? Which ones? What?" Otto says, his voice high in shock. Awsten would laugh if he wasn't dying of embarrassment at the moment.

He wants to curl up into himself as he starts. "Uhh - Silver, Pink, Territory, kiiinda No Capes? Definitely It Follows, Always Be Around-" He pauses, lifting his head just enough to read Otto's expression. "You never knew? I thought I was being super fucking obvious, dude."

Otto gesticulates wordlessly for a second, letting go of Awsten. "No! This whole time?" He grabs Awsten's hand again, squeezing tight as Awsten giggles, sitting up straighter.

"Some of these I'm starting, lots lost to the notes of old phones. You're good inspiration." Awsten grins, leaning in to kiss Otto's cheek once. He can tell Otto wants to press but won't let himself, trying to respect Awsten's 'creative boundaries' and all that. Awsten's face is still hot, but he's laughing now despite himself, pushing embarrassment down as deep as he can manage. 

Otto eventually breaks down and laughs with him. "I can't believe I never knew. And you never told me! Does Geoff know?!" 

"Probably." Awsten says, letting his head fall onto Otto's shoulder as they settle down. "Shit, maybe I'll write something right now." He comments, and Otto wheezes out another laugh. Awsten lets his eyes slip close, a content smile on his face as he thinks of the infinite words he could write for Otto, stupid love songs that Otto would undeniably tease him for. 

For once, Awsten feels like he's right where he needs to be.

**Author's Note:**

> literally all the parts are around 400 words and i really fuckin goofed w the "it follows" one by making it 1.2k words. i am a dumbed ass!
> 
> rpf tumblr: notwxrriors


End file.
